Be Be Your Love: Love on Drugs
by syd-monpeu
Summary: Part 3 of the Be Be Your Love series. The consequences of Derek and Addison's infedelity and Meredith's accident are more complicated then anyone imagined. Ch8: Addek, MerDer
1. Guilty Conscience

I'm like… 5 kinds of excited about this section. I LOVE IT. EEEEEEEEE!!!!

Sidenote: My boobs look FANTASTIC in this shirt.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The ER was crowded and loud and yet Derek felt he could hear every step he took echo on the tile floor. He stared uneasily at the curtained off area where he knew Meredith was waiting.

He couldn't face her yet.

He stepped into the small bathroom and closed the door. He leaned heavily on the sink and stared at the silver drain surrounded by white porcelain.

He felt guilty.

Very guilty.

His girlfriend was in a car accident.

Meredith was being hurt, God only knows how bad, and she was scared and alone, meanwhile he had his ex-wife pressed up against the wall of a jazz club.

He hit the cold water tap and watched the basin fill up with water. 5 minutes later his face had frostbite, but he was more or less ready to face Meredith.

He gripped the curtain tightly for a moment in an attempt to hold the nausea in check, then he swung back the curtain and stared.

"Hey," she gave him a relieved smile.

He stared at her in disbelief. She was sitting on the edge of the bed. A little bruised but otherwise looking ok, "You're okay?" he questioned breathlessly.

She smiled, "Sore. Whiplash. But I'm okay. I think the painkillers are helping."

He gave her a weary smile.

"They were concerned about a concussion, but I have a neurosurgeon for a boyfriend so I think they'll let me go home. I just want to check on the others."

"Others?"

She looked at him oddly, "Alex and Izzie? Izzie broke her collarbone and Alex smashed his knee up pretty bad. The back end of my car is totaled."

"Okay," he nodded absently, still gripping the curtain tightly.

"Derek," she smiled touched by his obvious distress, "You're really shook up aren't you."

Derek shrugged, "You had me worried."

"Aww," Meredith held out her arms and Derek reluctantly hugged her.

"I'm glad you're okay."

Meredith smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, "Hey. What happened to your neck?"

"What?"

"Your neck. Did you cut yourself?" Meredith carefully touched each of the four small cuts lining the back of his neck.

Derek reached back and touched them, remembering as he did Addison clinging to him, her nails digging into his skin. He wondered briefly if it would scar. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Meredith simply nodded, she had too much on her mind to really put too much thought into it.

XXXXX

The car was completely silent. Awkwardly silent.

"I'm sorry," Addison said finally, she was sick of the silence.

"Don't apologizes to me," Callie clenched her jaw, "You're not _my_ girlfriend."

Addison bowed her head and played with her fingers.

"I thought you were better then this."

"I'm…"

"I wanted you to be with him. I thought that you would be good for each other," Callie said through clenched teeth as she took a turn sharply, "I thought that with your pasts..."

"I…"

"Did you even think Addison? Do you ever just _think_? His wife left him for their attorney who she had been sleeping with for months."

"I know," Addison said quietly.

"She left him with 2 little girls. Daisy wasn't even a year old. He just woke up one morning and she had left divorce and custody papers on the kitchen table and moved to Boca. God Addison. He was devastated. It took over a year before he even told _me_ about it. And _now…_"

"I _know Callie_." Addison exclaimed, "_I know, okay._ Do you think I feel good about this? Do you think I'm _happy? I screwed up,_" she took a deep breath, "I screwed up."

"Ya, you did."

"I just," she sighed, "I don't know."

Callie was silent and switched lanes to take her towards Addison's condo.

"Could you take me to Geoff's?" Addison asked quietly.

"Oh, you are kidding me right?"

"Callie. Please." She closed her eyes and bit down on her lip, "I'll tell him, I swear to god, I will tell him. Okay?"

Callie was silent.

"I'm crazy about him. I screwed up, but I'm crazy about him."

Callie contemplated this and glanced at her quickly, "It won't happen again?"

"No! God Callie! I…"

"Don't tell him," Callie pulled out of the lane that led to Addison's place and continued along the road in the direction of Geoffrey's house, "God, I am going to regret this. Don't you _dare_ tell him. _Learn this time. _And _don't_ do it again."

"Callie…" Addison's eye's started to water.

"Oh don't even," Callie didn't even look at her, just reached for a box of tissues, "Fix yourself up. You're a mess."

XXXXX

Derek leaned heavily against the counter.

"Where is she?" Cristina demanded, planting herself in front of him.

Derek barely acknowledged her presence, "She's signing discharge papers."

"What were you thinking?" Cristina hissed in a low voice.

Derek swallowed hard. How did she know?

"You let her _drive_?"

Derek almost sighed with relief, "She only had the one drink. She was fine."

"One drink of _hard liquor_. Meredith is a _twig_."

"_She was fine_."

"People who are _fine_ don't end up in the ER," Cristina spat, she was standing uncomfortably close to him, "And where the _hell_ were you?"

"I was… " he stuttered, "She said… and I…" Derek rubbed his hand over his face and caught sight of Callie arriving through the automatic doors of the ER, "Hey," he pushed Cristina out of the way and jogged towards Callie, "Where have you been? Meredith waited almost an _hour_ for someone in ortho to come down and clear her."

"Where was I?" Callie was more then a little annoyed with Derek's accusations, "For the record, I wasn't even paged for this, I'm just picking up my _husband_ who came to be with his _friends_. As for why I'm _just_ getting here, I stayed at the club to '_look_' for you, because I am the only one that knew that you were_ screwing_ _Addison_ backstage and I was trying to _save your ass._ You're _welcome_ for that _by the way_. And _then_ I had to drive Addison home to _her boyfriends_. So, I'm _sorry_ if I'm a little late."

XXXXX

The sound of glass breaking in the kitchen masked the sound of Addison's almost silent entry into the house. She remained motionless in the doorway for a moment, unsure of how to proceed.

She took a deep breath and walked slowly towards the kitchen, it was through sheer will power that her head was not hung in shame. Her head was pounding and her throat was dry and she was not completely sure that when she saw him she wasn't going to throw up, then confess everything.

But it wasn't Geoffrey in the kitchen.

It was Ali.

Addison stood motionless taking in the situation. Ali was sitting on the floor in the corner one hand gently wrapped around the other as she stared at the ceiling. There was a ceramic mug a few feet away, broken neatly into 3 pieces, and water boiling on the stove.

Addison bent to pick up the broken pieces of the mug and without a word tossed them into the trash. Turning the burner off she carefully lifted the lid on the kettle and peered inside. Hot chocolate. Taking 2 more mugs out of the cabinet she tossed a handful of marshmallows into each; reflecting on the day she had had, and the night Ali seemed to be having, she tossed in another.

"Does it still hurt?" Addison asked, setting one mug on the tile next to Ali then seating herself on the floor a few feet away.

Ali shook her head, barely glancing at the small burn on her finger that had caused her to drop the mug.

Addison sipped her hot chocolate and silently took in Ali's appearance. Her face was red and splotchy from crying and all the dark eye make up that she liked to wear was completely gone. Her dark brown hair was staticy, probably from hiding under the covers of her bed, and the black nail polish on her toes and fingernails was a stark contrast to her soft pink and white pajamas.

"What his name?" Addison asked, vividly remembering being 13 with braces and stick straight orange hair still waiting to loose her baby fat and grow boobs.

Ali didn't reply right away, she was to busy trying to blink away tears. "Jeremy."

Addison nodded but didn't press the issue. She had had her suspicions confirmed.

"He's in the 8th grade," Ali said quietly, "and last week I told Amanda that I liked him and I wanted him to ask me to the dance next week, and she told Rebecca who told her sister Jillian who's in his class, and Jillian said that he doesn't go out with 7th graders. But then Jillian told her boyfriend Josh who is friends with Jeremy and Josh told Jeremy that I liked him and Jeremy said that I was cool and he'd go out with me even if I was in the 7th grade."

Addison cautiously sipped her hot chocolate.

"But then tonight Amanda and Cleo and Marcy went to the movies and they said that they saw Jeremy there holding hands with Emma," a few tears leaked out the corner of Ali's eye, "Emma's in grade 6."

Addison pretended to contemplate this as Ali composed herself, "Well," she said finally, "Do you really want to be with someone that would rather hang out with a lowly 6th grader?"

Ali looked over at Addison as if she was the dumbest person on the planet, "That doesn't make me _like_ him any _less_."

"Oh," Addison took another sip, "What about the 9th grade boys?"

XXXXX

"Do you need anything?"

Meredith shook her head and leaned pack tentatively against the pillows of her bed, "You know, except for Callie and George who are locked away in their own little apartment, we are the only ones here."

Derek was very still for a moment.

Meredith raised an eyebrow, "No? Just remember that the next time you want to complain that we never have time alone."

"Meredith," Derek sat down on the bed beside her.

"Derek I'm kidding," she blinked then opened her eyes very wide, "I think those pain killers went straight to my head. I'm wired."

"Meredith," he said again, taking her hand in his.

"They should have prescribed sleeping pills. My mind is just racing," she laughed, "I'm going to be up all night."

"Meredith," he said earnestly, gripping her hand tightly until she looked at him, "Meredith, I am so sorry."

The smile stayed fixed on her face, "Sorry for what?"

"I… Meredith…" he sighed and looked down at their hands, "I should have been with you. I shouldn't have stayed at the club, I shouldn't…"

"Derek. Don't be ridiculous," she continued to grin, her eyes thin slits from the medication, "It wouldn't have made a difference. It was an accident."

"But I…"

"If you were there you could have been hurt too."

"But I should have been with _you_."

"Derek," Meredith sighed, and then chuckled, "I think that these pills are to strong. There are practically 2 of you."

Derek nodded, "I'll get you something to help you sleep," leaning forward he kissed her gently on the forehead before standing.

She continued to smile, "I'm so lucky to have you."

He smiled wearily at her, then turned away and closed his eyes in shame.

"I love you."

He turned again and forced a smile onto his face, "I love you too."

XXXXX

"Hey," Addison said quietly as she opened the bedroom door. Her stomach clenched nervously. She thought that talking with Ali had given her confidence; if anything, talking to Ali had brought them closer together and now she felt even worse.

"Addison," in an instant Geoffrey was out of his chair and had wrapped his arms around her.

Addison stood stalk still.

"Mark called," Geoffrey gripped her a little tighter, "He said that there had been an accident, and he wanted to make sure that you got home alright. He said a few of the interns had been rear-ended a few blocks from the club."

Addison nodded, "Yeah. I was still at the club when we found out," she shook her head trying to clear it, "I'm sorry, I should have called you."

"No, no," Geoffrey tenderly brushed her hair out of her face, "I'm just glad you're okay."

"I'm fine," she forced a laugh and took a step back towards the adjoining bathroom, "I smell like a humidor. I'm going to go shower."

"Did they find Derek?"

Addison froze, "What?"

"When Mark called. He wanted to know if you had any idea where Derek was. No one could track him down."

Addison stared at the ground for a moment, collecting herself, "Yeah. They found him."

Geoffrey smiled at her and closed the distance between them to wrap her in his arms again, "I'm so glad you're safe. I just don't know what I'd do without you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Review.

See I know that people read these stories cause now I get these emails when you add them to alerts and stuff.

So I'm begging for reviews.

Cause I am currently unemployed and I have nothing better to so then check my inbox every 3 and a half minutes.

PLUS if it's an entertaining review or has a question or something, I send back witty replies.

So

REVIEW!


	2. Addicted to Love

Let me see.

I need an excuse eh…

I moved and started a new job.

Good enough?

No?

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"Good morning." Geoffrey greeted with energy not normal for that hour of the morning, "One of the Seattle Mariner's pulled his hamstring jogging this morning." Geoffrey chuckled as Addison curled her nose at the mention of sports; "Think you could drive the girls to school?"

Addison nodded. She was grateful for anything that was going to keep her away from the hospital.

Addison tried her hardest not to flinch aa she felt an arm go around her waist and lips nuzzling against her neck before kissing her cheek. She took another sip of her coffee and turned out of his arms.

"Is that a new nightgown?" He asked, reluctantly allowing her to escape arms reach.

"No," Addison sat down at the kitchen table and tugged at the tie on her bathrobe.

"Well I like it," he gazed at her appraisingly and smiled, "Makes me wish that I was still awake when you got out the shower last night," he sat down across from her, "Did you use _all_ the hot water?"

Addison smiled wearily, "I had a long night."

"Meredith?"

Addison looked up sharply but saw only understanding in his eyes, "Ya," she shook her head, "I'm being silly."

"No," Geoffrey shook his head, "You're not."

Addison gave him a small smile and took another sip of her coffee.

45 minutes later Addison was pulled away from Daisy's morning kindergarten class and started off in the direction of Ali's middle school. Ali hadn't uttered a word to her since the night before when Addison tried to give her advice about boys.

"What time do classes start?"

"8:50," Ali sighed still staring out the window, "But there's a pep rally today."

"Oh. That's fun."

"It's for the math club."

Addison glanced over at her, confusion evident on her face, "A pep rally for the math club? That…"

"Completely lame." Ali finished for her.

"Well… kinda, ya," Addison glanced over at Ali and grinned. Ali was smiling. Making a split second decision Addison switched lanes and drove a few blocks out of their way, She pulled over and started to undo her seatbelt.

"Where are we?"

"Well," Addison reached into the backseat for her purse, "I don't really feel like going to work, and I think that you will survive if I don't drop you off in time for that pep rally, so I'm getting my nails done," she smiled at Ali, "Interested?"

90 minutes later Addison was starting to realize that she had some competition for fashion Goddess of Seattle. She glanced disdainfully at her fresh, but traditional, French manicure, "Black tips?"

Ali nodded and examined her nails, "I got a more matte base too."

"I see that."

"They suggested these red rhinestones, but that would just be tacky," Ali smiled at her, more teasingly then sincerely, "Yours look nice too."

"Thanks," Addison replied. As her mouth twisted into a pout.

XXXXXX

"Callie?" Meredith leaned against the doorframe to her room her arms crossed tightly around her.

"How are you doing?"

Meredith winced, "I slept well, but since I woke up my back has been killing me."

Callie nodded, "Whiplash is a bitch. I'll write you out a prescription and I'll get George to fill it when he brings Izzie home."

Meredith smiled gratefully, "Thanks Callie. I was going to ask Derek but he has been hovering over me ever since I got home last night. I don't want him to worry more."

Callie pursed her lips then smiled, "Don't worry, I won't mention it to him."

XXXXXXX

"Is Ali going to the dance?" Addison asked as she sat across from Geoffrey at lunch. He had surprised her with take out and now she was trying with everything she had to keep the conversation casual.

"What dance?"

"At her school? She mentioned it to me last night."

Geoff leaned back in his chairs a smile spreading over his face, "Ali talked to you?" he teased, "And shared details about her life?"

Addison dipped her head and blushed, "Do you think she would mind if I took her shopping and got her a new dress to wear?"

"You can try," Geoffrey chuckled, "But Ali is notoriously hard to shop for."

Addison smiled, "But I'm _me_."

"I know. Which is why I am going to have to ask you not to buy my 13 year old daughter any stiletto's and ridiculously short skirts."

Addison sat silently for a moment, shifting in her chair uncomfortably.

"Hey," Geoffrey reached out and took her hand, "I'm kidding. I love your 'come hither' look. I just don't want any boy's coming to 'hither' near my little girl."

Addison smiled and glanced up at him; over his shoulder she could see Derek entering the cafeteria, "I have to get back to work," she said hastily as she pushed her chair away from the table.

"You just sat down," Geoffrey protested.

"I know, I'm sorry. I have a patient that I was suppose to check on and I completely forgot," she lied, "I'll see you some time tomorrow," she promised, backing away as quickly as she could.

"Tomorrow?" Geoffrey shook his head, "Tonight. Pizza night. And I believe you promised Daisy 3 Disney Princess stories before bed."

"Next time. I'm really tired."

"I'll let you sleep," Geoffrey gave her a serious look, "But just this once."

Addison shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. He was making it very difficult for her to get away, "Okay. But I'm serious about the sleeping."

He grinned and took a step forward to kiss her chastely on the lips, "And I'm serious about it just being this once."

Addison smiled indulgently at him despite the fact that bile was quickly rising into her throat, "I'll see you later."

XXXXXXX

"Okay. The pills they have you on are way better then the ones they have me on," Izzie pouted, cuddling further into her bed.

Meredith smiled, "Talk to Callie. I mentioned my back hurt and she gave me enough pills to keep me comatose for a week."

"Ya I saw her for a minute at the hospital this morning. She said to talk to her if this stuff wasn't cutting it."

"Do you think that Callie has a secret past as a drug dealer?"

"Wouldn't surprise me. Have you noticed that she's not paying off any student loans?"

"Neither are you," Meredith pointed out.

"Modeling money. I doubt that Callie _modeled_. Definitely drug money."

"She did start giving me double the rent for no real reason."

"See," Izzie took a bite of the store bought muffins that Derek had driven across town for that morning, "Callie sells drugs to small children in playgrounds in her spare time."

Meredith laughed, she felt sleepy and giddy at the same time, "Really there is no other explanation."

"These muffins are so gross," Izzie took another big bite and tossed the muffin across the bed and back onto the plate, "Seriously. What are you on?"

Meredith grinned, "I should get you some of these, you might need them," her smile grew at the confused look on Izzie's face, "I think that Derek's moving in."

Izzie stared.

"We've mentioned it from time to time. But…" Meredith shrugged, "He said when he left this morning that he was going to close up the trailer 'indefinitely'. So I'm thinking…"

Izzie scrunched up her nose, "You have a live-in boyfriend," she shifted again, unable to get comfortable, "That's disgusting."

XXXXXXX

He didn't hear her come up behind him. She probably hadn't him wanted to. She probably wanted to get her chart and get away without being seen.

"Addison."

She slowly turned around.

He glanced at her quickly and then looked away, he should have let her get away without acknowledging her.

She leaned uncomfortably against the counter.

He looked at her curiously as she winced and changed positions again, "Are you hurt?"

She glanced at him sharply, "I'm fine."

"But you're..."

She sighed, "I pulled some muscles in my legs."

"I..."

"Don't," she stared at a spot over his shoulder; Callie was standing directly behind him, Mark at her side.

"Ironic," Callie muttered under her breath.

"Callie…" Addison sighed wearily.

"What's going on," Mark leaned against the counter.

"I just think that it's ironic, that's all," Callie repeated, "That Addison would pull the muscles specifically designed to hold your legs closed."

"Adductors!" Mark exclaimed, "That's the only thing that I remember from that lab on muscles," he grinned, proud of himself for knowing something. He turned to Addison, "They're named after you."

Addison closed her eyes in mortification.

Mark grinned at Callie, "We used to tease her about this all the time when we were in med school," he lowered his voice, "She was kind of a prude."

"I was not!" Addison exclaimed in spite of herself.

"You're right," Mark conceded, "Huge slut. Slept with everyone. Eventually all she had left was Derek, so she was stuck."

"I did _not_!"

Derek cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Not me," Mark assured Derek, misinterpreting the situation, "I didn't sleep with her," he paused. "Then…"

"Oh. My. God," Addison stood there looking as if she would gladly die if the option were presented to her.

"It's amazing," Mark continued, "The sheer number of things that are named after Addison…"

"It's as if Addison is the center of the universe," Callie glowered, "Big surprise."

"That's a bit harsh," Mark said easily, "Even for you."

Callie's eyes narrowed, "I have patients."

Mark whistled as Callie marched away, "What did you do to piss her off?"

Addison closed her eyes for a moment before attempting to respond. She opened her eyes and bit down on her lip, "I have to go."

Mark watched Derek stare at his feet as Addison walked away, "What happened?"

"Nothing," Derek walked away.

Mark followed him, "But really. What happened?"

"Nothing," Derek snapped.

Mark continued to follow him, "You know you are going to tell me. You have to tell me. I'm your best friend."

"Were my best friend."

"Technicalities," Mark shook his head; "You don't get to judge me anymore. You did the same thing to her with Meredith."

Derek was silent a moment, "I had sex with Addison."

Mark was visibly surprised.

"Happy," Derek said dully.

"When?" Mark asked, still shocked that they were having this conversation.

"Last night."

"Oh," Mark considered this for a moment, "_Oh_."

"Ya."

Mark shook his head and smirked, "We are _so_ much alike."

XXXXX

"She said a friend."

"What?" Addison was concentrating hard on digging through her make up bag looking for a shade of nail polish that Daisy would like. She didn't have much to choose from and Ali wasn't in a sharing mood.

"Ali," Geoffrey wrapped his arms around her waist, watching her reflection in the mirror, "She said she went to get her nails done with a friend. It was you wasn't it."

Addison looked up and met his eyes in the mirror; he looked so happy, "She didn't have class until almost nine," Addison fibbed, leaving out the part where she dropped Ali off 10 minutes late for her science class.

Geoffrey smiled at her, his hands now resting gently on her shoulders, "I love you."

Addison's eye's widened. She stared at their reflection in the mirror. He just continued to watch her, never faltering.

A smile crept onto her lips.

Seeing her smile, he gently kissed her temple and left her alone standing in front of the mirror. Her smile grew.

He loved her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Awwwwww.

Geoffrey is SO CUTE.

Gushes.

I like Izzie. In fics. On the show I want to murder her. In my fic she thinks that Callie is a drug dealer and that makes me laugh


	3. Just Like a Pill

Sorry for the long wait. I started a new job and got REALLY sick at the same time. Like… I have never called in sick to a job before, but in my first week I had to take 2 days off. It was bad. I came close to medicating myself into a coma.

But I bought a new dress today and I look ridiculously hot right now.

Ridiculously.

And there is something about this chapter that I love more then life itself. If you can guess what it is I'll… give you something!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Did you get it?" Geoffrey asked as Addison slipped in the front door.

Addison nodded silently.

"Can I see it?"

She nodded towards the bedroom; he followed her and raised his eyebrow when she closed the door behind them.

"I may have gone a bit overboard," she admitted, dropping all her bags on the bed.

"Is this all for her?"

Addison gave him a guilty look, "I bought myself a latte," she admitted, "But look at this dress," she unzipped a garment bag to reveal a simple black dress detailed with pale green stitching on the prominent seams, "I saw her looking at it in the window when we got our nails done a few weeks ago," she lifted the hem to reveal the flounces under the skirt, pale green, black and white plaid, "The salesgirl said that most girls get pink, but I didn't think Ali would want what everyone else was getting. Plus with her eyes…"

Geoffrey smiled.

"And then," Addison continued, "When I was at the cash, I saw these," she pulled out a pair of green shoes, "Jelly shoes. Do you remember jelly shoes? And they were the same colour green, so I had to buy them," she rationalized, "And the sales girl said they just got them in, so Ali will probably be the only one with them."

"I'm sure she'll love them," Geoffrey assured her.

"I hope so," Addison sat down on the edge of the bed, "And then I realized that she was going to need accessories and make up and," she gestured to her other bags, "that happened."

Geoffrey laughed, "Women."

Addison narrowed her eyes, but smiled, "School formals are very important to girls. Even rebellious 13 year olds."

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

Addison glanced at her pager. Her face fell, "I have to go in. My triplets just went into preterm labour," she looked longingly at the dress, "Tell Ali to have fun. And _take a picture_," she instructed.

He nodded and kissed her on the forehead trying to ease her disappointment, "I think by the time you get home tonight you will have officially won her over."

XXXXXXX

Meredith slammed the door to her locker shut with a bang.

"Is your back _still_ sore?" Izzie demanded, "I thought it was getting better."

"It was until I knocked the rest of the pills that Callie gave me into the sink."

Izzie grimaced and opened her locker again, "Here. Take the rest of mine. I think I only took like 5."

"You sure?" Meredith asked, reaching out to take them.

"Ya," Izzie nodded, "They make me all loopy and hyper."

Meredith smiled wanly as she swallowed 2 pills dry, "I like feeling loopy."

Izzie laughed, "Better watch out, you'll become Callie's best client."

Meredith laughed, "But then where would the poor kids in the playground go to for quality black-market narcotics?"

"Their parents medicine cabinets like the rest of the kiddy-addicts."

Meredith shook her head, "I need to go. I can already see Derek sitting in the car flashing the lights telling me to hurry up."

"McDreamy is a bit McAnxious."

Meredith smiled, "If he doesn't stop flashing those lights he's going to be McSingle."

"Bye Meredith," Izzie laughed.

"Bye," Meredith crossed the parking lot and climbed in the car. She barely said hello before Derek was pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road home.

Meredith shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Closing her eyes she leaned against the cool glass of the car window.

"Sore?" Derek questioned, taking his eyes momentarily from the road.

Meredith nodded.

"Did you take anything for it?"

She shook her head, "Ran out."

"Didn't Callie prescribe more?"

"Gone."

Derek nodded, "Is there a prescription pad in my bag? There is a pharmacy about a block away."

Meredith nodded and reached into the backseat, she knew the pad was in there. She checked before he left the hospital.

"Write what you need." Derek told her, "I'll sign it and run it in to be filled."

Meredith smiled gratefully and uncapped her pen, "Thanks Derek."

XXXXXXX

Addison scanned the crowd anxiously. It had been a long night and she wanted to get home to bed; however, she had jumped at the chance to pick up Ali from her dance just so she could see the dress.

The crowed was starting to thin and Addison still hadn't spotted her. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel and glanced at her watch. The dance had ended fifteen minutes ago.

Then she saw her; standing in the corner by the gym, holding hands with a boy. Addison smiled and got comfortable to wait.

5 minutes later Ali opened the passenger side door, "Can we drive a friend home? It's on the way."

Addison smiled and raised an eyebrow, "Sure."

She watched Ali and a tall boy dressed all in black with leather bracelets climbed into the back seat. Neither said a word.

"Hi," Addison said finally, "I'm Addison."

"Simon," the boy said politely.

The car became silently again.

"It's this house on the right," Simon said finally. He glanced at Ali as he opened his door, "See ya, Scarlet."

"Bye."

"Scarlet?" Addison asked as they pulled away.

Ali didn't reply, "Don't tell Dad."

Addison glanced in her rearview mirror.

"He's in grade 9. He goes to the high school."

Addison pursed her lips together.

Silence over came the car until they pulled into the driveway.

"Dad said I should say thank you for the dress," Ali paused, "The shoes pinch."

Addison chuckled to herself as she got out of the car, "The good ones always do."

XXXXXXX

Meredith locked the door to the bathroom and crossed to the medicine cabinet.

She opened her make up bag and sighed. She had 11 more of the pills that George had gotten when he dislocated his shoulder. There were 4 more from the batch she got from Callie last week. She had 26 in her purse that she got from Izzie. 7 from the prescription Cristina wrote her, 12 from Bailey. In her bedroom she had the 50 that Derek had just given her.

She swallowed 2 of the codeine tablets she got from Cristina.

Maybe that would help her get to sleep.

XXXXXXX

Addison pressed her hands together and slipped then between her cheek and her pillow. She had woken up 30 minutes ago and hadn't been able to get back to sleep.

It had been close to a year since she had lain awake at night and watched someone sleep. Derek always seemed to be thinking; even in sleep he rarely lost the slight crease in his forehead. Mark was even cocky in his sleep. Addison attributed this to his overly chiseled features and to-perfectly trimmed facial hair.

But Geoffrey. Geoffrey looked completely at ease. And strong. Not physically, although he was closer in physique to Mark then Derek, but he had this strength that she wasn't sure the other men in her life had possessed. She smiled. Selflessness. He was a father; he put people before himself, other people's happiness.

Derek was a very selfish man.

Addison reached out her hand and gently ran her fingers over his cheek and jaw line, eventually moving over his lips as she sought more territory.

Slowly he stirred, his hand covered hers and he kissed her palm sleepily, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she whispered, "I'm just lucky to have you."

He moaned lightly, still trying to wake up; turning on his side and forcing his eyes open he examined her features, "You're sure you're okay?"

Addison nodded, her fingers still running along his jaw. He did the same, his thumb tracing the groove under her lower lip.

She smiled as he leaned in and slowly kissed her. Her hand slipped down to his neck, her palm scratching across his beard. Their lips parted simultaneously as he eased her onto her back and pushed her gently into the mattress. She adjusted her hips, letting her nightgown ride up of it's own accord, her fingers continuing to linger on his face.

"I love you," Geoffrey murmured against her open mouth before kissing her again, his hand still pressed possessively against her face.

Addison groaned lowly as they both fumbled, adjusting their legs, the early morning hour making foreplay an unaffordable luxury and clumsiness unavoidable. Finally their hips aligned and he pushed inside of her, her lung filling suddenly with air.

"I love you too," she half gasped half whispered. She wasn't even sure she said it until he leaned away to look in her eyes, "I do," she said softly as he kissed her gently on the forehead then her cheek, "I love you."

XXXXXXX

Callie stood silently at the nurse station, tapping her pen on the counter and thinking. "Addison?" she said finally.

"Yeah?" Addison replied from a few feet away, clearly surprised that Callie was talking to her.

"I want to make an appointment for Meredith to see Geoff about her back. She's going through painkillers like they come in Pez dispensers."

"Okay," Addison said slowly.

"I'm just letting you know."

Addison nodded, "Thank you."

They both resumed their own tasks, slipping back into silence.

"Things are going okay?" Callie asked cautiously.

"Ya. Everything is fine." She looked down at her chart and smiled, "He told me he loves me," she said quietly.

Callie's features were unreadable "Really?"

"Yeah," Addison grinned.

Callie moved closer, "When?"

"A few weeks ago."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," Addison's grin grew, "Until last night."

"You said it back?"

Addison nodded.

Callie gnawed on her lip for a moment, "Did you mean it?" she demanded, a hint of treat in her voice.

"Of course," Addison exclaimed, slightly miffed that Callie would suggested that she didn't.

Callie collapsed in a nearby chair, "Despite my obvious annoyance towards you and your lax standards of fidelity, I feel all warm and fuzzy and girly."

Addison laughed, "I know, me too."

"If I was they type of person that skipped, I'd feel like skipping," Callie said, standing up with a smile, "I'm going to go call your boyfriend and try not to swoon."

Addison laughed, smiling to herself as Callie walked away.

"Addison?"

Addison looked up to see Meredith standing a few feet away. Her smile instantly faded, "Meredith."

"I was wondering if I could ask you a favor."

Addison looked at her curiously.

"Since the accident I've been kinda sore," Meredith confided, "I don't want to talk to any of my friends about it 'cause they will worry, and, well, you know Derek. You are the only one that I can talk to without it getting back to people."

Addison was stunned. She couldn't believe this was happening, "Have you seen someone about it?"

Meredith shook her head, "It's nothing. Just a little sore. You're the only one I've even mentioned it too."

"Oh," Addison didn't know how to address the fact that Meredith was clearly lying to her face.

"I was just wondering if you could…"

"Oh. Umm…" Addison cringed, "Ok. Hold on," mentally kicking herself she reached for her prescription pad and wrote out a prescription for 10 Tylenol #2 "That should take the edge off. You should see someone about that."

Meredith smiled weakly as she glanced at what Addison had written, "Thanks."

Addison smiled and turned to walk around a corner, "Good going Add," she murmured to herself, "Seriously."

XXXXXXX

Addison stood at the door tapping her foot, a large bag clutched in her hand.

Suddenly the door flew open, "You're not pizza."

Addison stared at the ceiling for a moment, "I forgot that you lived here now."

Addison and Cristina stared awkwardly at each other.

"Can I come in?" Addison asked finally.

"Umm," Cristina hesitated for a moment, "Sure."

"Is Alex here?"

"He doesn't really go far these days."

Addison nodded, "I'll just…" she nodded towards his closed door, "He's alone right?"

Cristina smirked, "Yeah."

"Okay," she paused, "Is that Mark's shirt?"

"Oh…umm," Cristina glanced towards the kitchen as Mark slunk around the corner.

Addison shook her head, "Eventually you will get tired of being a Manwhore."

Mark smiled at her, "And what are you doing visiting the young Karev?"

"Nothing that would interest you," she assured him as she disappeared into Alex's room.

Alex looked up in surprise and pulled off his headphones, "Hi."

"Hi," Addison stood awkwardly at the door, "How are you?"

Alex shrugged and nodded to his knee, still in a brace and elevated on a pillow, "Been better."

Addison nodded, "I bought you a Wii," she said putting the gaming system on the foot of his bed.

"Why?"

Addison sighed, "I need a favour. A big one."

"From me?" Alex's forehead creased, "Sit down."

Addison sat on the edge of the bed, "Meredith has a problem. With drugs."

"Okay," Alex said slowly.

"She asked me to write her a prescription today, for painkillers. She asked _me_. She said she didn't want to worry her friends."

"Maybe she doesn't want them to worry."

"Alex," Addison sighed, "It's… Callie told me this morning that she _just_ gave her more."

"So what did you do?"

"I wrote her a prescription. I didn't what else to do."

Alex sat silently for a moment, thinking it over.

Addison curled her feet underneath her and moved further on to the bed.

"You're the only one I trust that I thought might understand," Addison said quietly.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Find someone to help her."

"Why can't you do it?"

"I can't."

"Because it's Meredith?"

Addison was silent.

"I'm surprised you gave her anything at all."

"It's my fault Alex," she said quietly.

"No it's …"

"Alex," she sighed, "I was with Derek that night. We snuck into one of the rooms backstage and had sex," she said bluntly, "And now Meredith is taking painkillers. And she needs help. And there are about a million reasons why I can't be the one to do it."

"You and Shepherd?"

"I know it was stupid. I _need_ you help me."

Alex nodded and gave her a smile, "Only 'cause it's you."

Addison smiled and squeezed his hand, "So, how long has Cristina been sleeping with Mark?"

"Cristina's…"

"Oops,' Addison grinned, "Surprise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So what do we think about that little plot development?

Seriously. I want lots of reviews on this one cause you kinda sucked at leaving them on the last one, so I was sick and lonely.

Oh, and there is a new character in the next chapter. It's not Kimber, but it's almost as good.

REVIEW!


	4. Jagged Little Pill

So.

I'm still deciding if I am completely happy with this chapter. I normally do this for like 6 hours then finally post.

But Kayli is bribing me with an electric-yellow-panty-dance.

You don't say no to that.

Enjoy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You're mobile," Cristina observed as she swallowed the enormous mouthful of cereal she had shoveled in her mouth "And off the phone."

"Hey, you're off your back," he shot back, "Did Sloan _finally_ leave?"

She smirked, "If I knew that sleeping with him would drive you this crazy I would have done it when I first moved in. Like a housewarming gift to myself."

'I hate that guy," Alex eased himself into a chair, "Sloan's an ass."

"But it's one that you just want to grab with both hands and…"

"Okay, what is with your species and…"

"My _species_?"

"There are no other words to explain…"

"Why do you think that women sleep with _you_?"

"Because under my dashing and tough exterior I'm a kind and caring…"

Cristina snorted, "I think you hit your head when you smashed your knee."

"Just because I am in no way interested in you…"

"Insult me," Cristina smiled, "That will keep Mark Sloan out of our apartment."

"_My_ apartment."

"Yes. Your apartment. With the paper thin wall," she paused, "I hope that I am able to contain myself…"

"_Cristina!_"

Cristina smiled to herself and went back to her cereal.

"Has Meredith asked you for drugs?"

Cristina's head jerked up, "What?!?!"

Alex shrugged, "Has she?"

"Once or twice," Cristina's brow furrowed, "She was having trouble sleeping."

Alex was silent.

"You can't be serious."

"I'm just asking if you think there is a problem."

"There is no problem."

"Okay."

Cristina was silent for all of 10 seconds, "Why do _you_ think there is a problem?"

"I just heard things and talked to some people."

"Who?"

"Just people."

"Montgomery?"

Alex didn't reply.

"I thought she came over to 'cheer you up'."

"She did. She bought me that Wii that you have been kicking my ass on for the last month."

"Ya. You suck at that," Cristina sighed and shook her head, "I don't think I believe anything that Addison Montgomery-used-to-be-Shepherd says about Meredith."

"I do."

Cristina stared hard at him.

"Meredith asked her for pills," Alex said slowly, "Addison says she's been getting them from Callie too."

"Okay," Cristina said slowly, "On the off-chance that the she-devil isn't completely insane, what do we do?"

Alex shrugged, "I don't know. You're her best friend."

"I've only know about this for a minute and a half!"

"I've been talking to this therapist who specializes in prescription drug addictions. She's willing to meet with us tomorrow if you want to do that."

"We don't even know if there is a problem."

"There's a problem."

"You don't know…"

"If it's not a problem now it will be soon."

Cristina groaned in frustration and slid off the counter, "I'm going over there to talk to Callie. Hopefully, when I get back I'll be going my 'told ya so' dance."

XXXXXXX

"I need to ask you a serious question and I need a serious answer."

"Is this about Mark and how his _ya-know_ kinda curves and how it's kinda amaz…"

"No!"

"Is it about Mark at all?"

"No!" Cristina exclaimed, "It's about Meredith."

"Oh. Well. It's still amazing," she stepped aside, "Come on. Mark's upstairs. And there is pizza and beer."

"It's barely noon."

"It's a Sunday afternoon, we don't have to work and there is a baseball game on TV."

"As long as you have a reason," Cristina followed her upstairs, "How long have you known about Mark?"

"Since I walked into the ER that night and Mark said 'Guess who I just boned'."

"_SO_ sorry I missed that."

"You were tearing Derek a new one for letting Meredith drive when alcohol fumes will get that girl drunk."

"Since then," Cristina said cautiously, grateful for the opportunity, "Have you given her anything for the pain or to help her sleep?"

"Just painkillers. Why?"

"I have too."

Callie paused and turned to look at her. Realization slowly dawned on her face, "_Shit._"

She started taking the stairs faster, "Mark? Have you been writing Meredith prescriptions?"

Mark didn't take his eyes from the TV, "A few days ago. Why."

"'Cause she's asked all of us."

"It's not just us," Cristina added, crossing her arms over her chest, "I've heard of others."

They all exchanged glances.

"How big of a problem do you think this is?" Mark questioned slowly.

"Alex thinks pretty big. I'm starting to agree" Cristina said, "I think we should go through her stuff."

They considered this silently.

Mark stood, "I'll be the look out."

Five minutes later Cristina and Callie were standing in front of the medicine cabinet.

"I'm going to _kill_ her."

"These are George's," Cristina held up an almost empty bottle.

"I prescribed these for _Izzie_."

"The chief's been nice to her."

"Miranda should know better then to prescribe this much Vicodin at a time," Callie shook her head.

"This is just what she is leaving laying around."

"Do you think she is hiding stuff too?"

"Probably."

"Is there only one from Derek?"

"Ya. That's weird right?"

"Not if she is hiding it from him."

"So what do we do next?" Cristina asked as they entered the hallway again.

"Sit down and talk to her. I don't know. You're her best friend."

Cristina sighed and put her hands on her hips, "Alex talked to someone that is willing to talk with her tomorrow."

"Alone?"

"I don't know. I don't _know._"

They heard the front door open and Mark great them loudly, "_Derek, old man. How are you? Meredith! How was the grocery store?"_

"Should we tell Derek?" Callie whispered, "Or George and Izzie? What about her Dad."

Cristina started to pace, "Definitely not George and Izzie. They would immediately ambush her."

"But Derek…"

"We should tell him right?"

"Probably."

Cristina considered this, her head was starting to hurt, "The person is coming sometime tomorrow, why don't we ask who we should tell and how, then we'll deal with it."

"Procrastination," Callie smiled wearily, "I love it."

XXXXXXX

"All set?" Alex asked Cristina in a low voice.

She nodded, "I just talked to Webber and Bailey. They are giving her the rest of the week off and will re-evaluate next Monday after they consult with her therapist. Right now she's in surgery with Mark, when she gets out I'm taking her back to her place and we'll sit down with the therapist."

"Have you told the others what's going on?"

"No," she shook her head, "You can do that after we leave. Callie's going to keep them away from the house until I give her the all clear."

"Shepherd?"

"I'm going to do that now."

"He's in surgery for another few hours at least," Alex unconsciously rubbed his bad knee, "I'll let him know when he gets out."

"Okay," Cristina sighed and leaned back against the counter, "She is going to hurt me."

"Who's going to hurt you?" Izzie asked, appearing from nowhere.

"Ya," Cristina straightened up, acknowledging Izzie while at the same time ignoring her question, "Where's Meredith?"

"She had to get something out of her locker."

Cristina and Alex exchanged significant looks.

"Wish me luck," Cristina murmured.

Izzie and Alex watched her walk away as George joined them.

"So," Alex began, "We need to talk."

XXXXXXX

Derek pressed his hands hard against his temples as he walked down the hall away from the OR's. His surgery had run over by a good 4 hours.

He wanted to shower, eat and sleep. Not necessarily in that order.

He paused at the nurse's station to make a few notes on the chart. Hearing footsteps approach he glanced up.

The mass of red hair was all he needed to see to encourage him to stare intently at his papers and not look up.

She stopped right beside him.

He didn't move.

"You're ignoring me? Well that's rude."

He looked up slowly.

"Surprised?"

XXXXXXX

Addison grinned and leaned against the counter, "Well look at you."

Alex smiled back, "Not everyone can pull off a cane like I can."

Addison chuckled, "You look good kid."

"What did I tell you about calling me kid?"

Addison flushed slightly, "It's my prerogative as the sexy older woman in your life."

Alex chuckled, but quickly became more serious, "About the… thing. I set up the meeting for Meredith and a specialist. She met with her and Cristina at Meredith's house this afternoon."

Addison nodded and stepped a bit closer.

"Cristina said it went as well as could be expected. Meredith is really upset and not talking to anyone. But the therapist seems to think that since you noticed early, that there was something going on, it will be easier to get to the root of the problem. She's going to owe you."

"No, she doesn't," Addison said quietly, "What about Derek? How is he taking this?"

"He doesn't know yet. He's been in surgery all day…" Alex trailed off.

Derek stormed down the hallway. He was furious.

He grabbed Addison by the arm and spun her to face him, "_WHAT is your sister doing here?"_ he demanded.

"I… my…" Addison stuttered, "my sister…" realization dawned on her face, and she turned to face Alex, "Oh please tell me…"

Alex visibly confused, "I didn't…"

"You didn't _know_? _You didn't know?_"

"Well, she…"

"You didn't think that someone named _Adrienne Montgomery could be RELATED to me?"_

"She was in Miami!"

"People _move!"_

"I'm _sorry!_"

"_Why_ is she here _Addison?" _Derek demanded grabbing her arm.

"Don't yell at my baby sister."

Addison paused as she sister appeared from behind Derek, "I'm not your baby sister. And right now I hate you so much I don't even want to be your sister-sister."

"Really?"

"_What is she doing here?_" Derek demanded again.

"I _don't know!_" she exclaimed.

"She just walked up to me and told me that she didn't think that Meredith was going to have to take _Methadone_ for her _drug addiction_."

"_Adrienne!"_

"Therapy should be enough," Adrienne explained easily.

"_Adrienne!_" 

"_Addison! _What the _hell _business is it of yours…"

"_Excuse me?"_

"We haven't even _spoken_ in weeks, and suddenly you are _accusing_ my _girlfriend of being a drug addict!"_

"Only because you are to pompous and arrogant to _notice for yourself_."

"_MEREDITH IS NOT ADDICTED TO DRUGS!"_

Adrienne cut in calmly, "Actually…"

"_Adrienne, shut up or I will beat you with my shoe!"_

They fell silent for a moment.

Derek shook his head in bewilderment, "Of all the people in _world_ that you could have called, you called _Adrienne_."

"I didn't _call_ _anyone_."

"You know I can't _stand_ her."

"This isn't about _you Derek_."

"If you wanted attention _Addison…"_

"Attention? _Attention! _You are accusing me of wanting _YOUR ATTENTION when MEREDITH has been asking everyone with a prescription pad and a pen to give her VICODIN!"_

"SHE WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT!"

"I know that _Derek! But I didn't ask Riena to come!" _Addison exclaimed.

"It's true. She didn't," Adrienne supplied, "I didn't even know that Meredith was the young beautiful intern until she started talking about you. Addison is annoyingly evasive sometimes."

"When were you…"

"I like her Derek," she continued, "She's bitter and cynical, but has _way_ more common sense then Addison."

"_When_ did you _talk to Meredith_?"

"This afternoon. I was at her house. Your house? She mentioned that you lived there now."

"_Why?_"

"I called her," Alex said awkwardly.

"_What!_" Derek exclaimed. He turned on Addison again, "You asked _some guy you screwed _to call your psycho sister to help_ MY GIRLFRIEND with some bogus ADDICTION!?_"

"Psycho yet _older and wiser_ sister," Adrienne corrected.

"Shut up_ Adrienne_," Addison shot back, "I didn't know she was _coming_. I knew something was wrong and asked Alex, _as a friend to both me and Meredith,_ to help. _I had nothing to do with this._"

Alex inched forward, "I was actually referred to her. She said she was going to be in Seattle for a week anyway."

Addison looked at her wearily, "Why were you going to be in Seattle."

"It's our birthday on Tuesday," Adrienne rolled her eyes, "I'm clearly the smart one."

"You're twins?" Alex asked weakly, suddenly thinking that Meredith was right for overdoing it on the happy pills.

"Fraternal twins," they said simultaneously.

"Adrienne's the evil twin," Derek murmured under his breath shooting her a very unfriendly look. He suddenly felt exhausted and overwhelmed, "If you thought that Meredith had a problem you should have come to me."

Addison looked at him, just her expression telling him why that wasn't really an option.

"I need to go home," he said finally, "Meredith…"

"I'm glad you haven't lost your charm Derek," Adrienne spoke with a straight face; she rarely smiled but often smirked.

Derek just glared at her halfheartedly - and left.

The sisters stared at each other.

Addison slowly grinned, "It's about time you visited," she said as she hugged her sister tightly.

Adrienne squeezed her back, "Sorry. The terms of my parole said I couldn't leave the state of Florida until today."

XXXXXXX

The first thing that Derek saw when he walked in the house was a broken lamp in the middle of the floor.

The second thing was Cristina laying on the couch staring unseeing at the ceiling.

"Hey," he said softly, "You can go home now."

She nodded silently and stood.

"Is Meredith really…"

Cristina nodded, "We found all that just in her bedroom and purse," she nodded to the coffee table that was littered with pill bottles and a few cosmetics from when they had clearly dumped out the contents of her purse.

Derek shook his head, "How did I miss this?"

"We all missed it."

"Cristina?" he paused at the bottom of the steps as she opened the front door, "Thanks."

He could hear Meredith sobbing from the hall.

His stomach clenched painfully as he stood in the doorway and watched her huddled figure convulse with sobs. He swallowed the lump in his throat and crawled onto the bed beside her.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her warm forehead as she curled her fists into his sweater, "Shhhh," he soothed her, pushing her damp sweaty hair off her face.

She was gasping more then breathing and her whole body was trembling, "Don't leave me," she choked out.

"I'm not leaving you," he assured her, kissing her cheeks and brushing away her tears.

She started sobbing with renewed vigor. This time when she spoke he could barely make out the words, "I… hurt… work… sore…you… sleep…"

"Shhhh. Just breath."

"I'm… love me… mess… hurt… everything."

"We can talk about it tomorrow," he told her gently, "Go to sleep. I'm right here."

"Derek…"

"Shhh. It's okay," he paused and held her tighter, "I love you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sigh.

SIGH.

In case you are wondering, 'cause I always to this, in my head, Adrienne is Joely Fisher ya know from Ellen (the sitcom) and… other stuff probably. I based her character on my sister who is… interesting. And also she's a twin, so the relationship between her and Addison I am kinda drawing on my twin sisters.

But with less hitting.

And better hair.

Reviewers get a Poppy Cunningham action figure!


	5. Punch Drunk

I'm to tired for an authors note.

You lucked out this time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meredith drew her legs in tightly and rested her chin on top of her knees.

"You look horrible," Adrienne Montgomery greeted her, walking across the porch and making herself comfortable on the swing, "You look like you got… maybe an hour of sleep. And not all at once."

Meredith ignored her, turning her red eyes away.

"Did you take something?"

She didn't reply.

"I doubt that we got everything that you hid away, but you've probably gone through all that by now. And even if we did get it all, we left things like cold medicine and gravol."

Meredith bit down on her lip, her eyes welling up with tears.

"They didn't work?" Adrienne nodded, "You've built up a tolerance. I hope you don't get the flu."

Meredith still didn't reply.

"I have been coming over here at 5am every morning for the last 4 days and everyday I ask the same questions and you give me the same non-answers. I thought that by now we would have moved on to one word responses or you would've stopped coming outside."

"I get it," Meredith spat angrily, "I screwed up. Thank you for bringing that to the attention of everyone I know, but I don't want to talk about it."

Adrienne pushed out with her feet causing the swing to rock gently, "Are you a jogger?" she asked, "'Cause you look like a jogger."

Meredith shrugged sullenly, "I jog sometimes."

"Jogging is excellent for the psyche. Tons of endorphins and serotonin. Relaxes, distresses. Great therapy. When's the last time you jogged?"

Meredith took a bit her lip uncertainly, "When Addison showed up."

Adrienne nodded, "Stress jogging," she stood up, "My stuff is in the car. Let's go," she shivered, it was 6am and although the sky looked promising, it was misty, damp and bitterly cold, "You know I was really hopping you weren't a jogger."

XXXXXXX

"You look like her."

"Who? Addison?" Adrienne panted, "That's the thing about twins. And she looks like me."

They ran in silence for a moment.

"Is that why you don't talk to me? Because she's my sister?"

Meredith didn't reply.

"She never told me your name. I didn't know who you were. She's not why I came. I came for you."

Meredith glanced at her but kept running.

"Did Addison drive you to drugs? 'Cause it wouldn't surprise me."

Meredith smiled, "No."

"Then what was it?"

"I don't know," Meredith said quietly, "What do you think?"

"Doesn't matter what I think. It would only be a guess. You're the only one that knows."

"But I don't."

"Well, you better figure it out soon. Only one of us needs to get in shape and I'm not the size 2."

"Family, friends, job, boyfriend."

"Those are excuses. We want reasons."

"Then this might be a long jog."

"God," Adrienne clutched her side but kept running, "Then I have a confession. After I met you I googled you. I know who your mother is, I kinda know about your dad, I lived with Addison when she was an intern and I have a general idea about what it's like to be romantically involved with Derek Shepherd," she gasped, "Try 'Living Up To Expectations'. Start with the A's and work your way through the alphabet. Quickly. Before I keel over."

Meredith laughed in spite of herself, "How are you licensed to treat people?"

"Who said I was licensed?"

XXXXXXX

"First day back to work!" Derek greeted Meredith as he walked into the kitchen.

"Morning Derek," Adrienne greeted from the table where she was eating a banana.

"Why is she here?" Derek asked softly, kissing Meredith on the forehead.

"Moral support," Adrienne replied on Meredith's behalf, "And breakfast. I'm addicted to this Izzie chicks muffins."

Derek glared at her, "Don't say… you know. That."

"Addicted?"

"Yes," he hissed.

"It doesn't bother her. Meredith? Does it bother you when I use words like 'addicted'?"

"Not really."

Adrienne smiled at Derek, her expression clearly saying 'I told you so'.

Derek glared at her one more time before turning his attention solely to Meredith, "You," he placed his hands on her shoulders, "Are going to have a wonderful day. You are beautiful, smart, funny and the strongest woman I know," he smiled, "And those are only a few reasons why I love you."

She smiled, "I love you too."

He kissed her again, "Have a good day," he said leaving the room.

Adrienne watched him leave, then turned to Meredith who was now leaning heavily on the counter, "Talk about living up to expectations."

XXXXXXX

"_Happy Birthday!"_

Addison's face broke into a smile as approached the table in the center of the restaurant.

"Open mine first," Daisy bounced over to her before she even had a chance to say 'hello'.

"Let Addison sit down," Geoffrey instructed his youngest daughter before kissing Addison lovingly on the lip, "Happy Birthday Sweetheart."

"Thank you," she slid smoothly into her seat, "Ali, you look lovely."

"Thanks."

"I'm here. I'm here."

Addison turned to see her sister sailing towards them, "Adrienne."

"Callie mentioned that your sister was in town," Geoffrey explained.

Addison grinned as Adrienne sat down beside her, "I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into."

"Nice dress," Adrienne said to Ali, not waiting to be introduced, then turned to Geoffrey, "Don't forget our deal. She's mine after 11. We have a birthday to celebrate."

XXXXXXX

"How many of these have we _had_," Addison laughed, picking up another shot glass and drained it.

"One for every year of our lives."

"Oh god."

"We're sharing though," Adrienne assured her, "But we added a couple to grow on."

"I'm turning into Meredith," Addison picked up another glass, "Tequila."

"She likes tequila? She never mentioned that."

Addison shook her hands in front of her face, "Forget I said that."

Adrienne shrugged, "It's only fair. She talks about you."

Addison's eyes bugged out, "She doesn't."

"She does. This is all more or less your fault."

"She didn't say that."

"She did so!"

"No."

"This all started when you showed up to torture yourself with yet another round of 'working on the marriage'."

"That's not true!"

"It is true. It's all she talks about."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"Meredith wouldn't say that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Addison replied uncertainly.

"You don't think that you might not be just a little bit to blame for this."

Addison sat silently for a moment, then reached for her purse.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Meredith," Addison extracted her phone and squinted at the numbers.

"You're drunk dialing your ex-husbands drug-addicted girlfriend? Good plan," Adrienne drowned another shot, trying to hide a smile.

"It's ringing," Addison informed her, trying to sound as sober as possible.

"Good," Adrienne congratulated her, "That's the first step."

"Meredith?" Addison confirmed as the line was picked up, "I'm sorry that I am calling so late. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I hurt you. I drove you to this. I took Derek from you. I kept you from him. I made you both so unhappy. I'm sorry. If I had known. If I could have seen what would happen. I never wanted anything like this to happen to you. Really. I know we have had our differences, but…"

"Addison!" Meredith interrupted, "What are you talking about?"

"Adrienne said…" Addison glanced at her sister who was laughing into her drink, "She said you thought I drove you to… But you didn't did you…"

Meredith started to laugh, "No. She did."

Addison threw her napkin at Adrienne.

"How much have you had to drink?" Meredith asked, laughing harder.

"There is still liquor in the bar if that's what you asking," she sighed and buried her face in her hand, "I'm sorry."

"No. I haven't laughed like this in a long time," Meredith paused, "I like your sister."

"That makes one of us," Addison muttered as she hung up, "Adrienne. You _suck._" 

"Who was that?" Derek asked, climbing into bed.

"Your ex-wife," Meredith chuckled, "She's trashed."

"Her birthday," Derek muttered, throwing the blankets back off his legs, "Did she say where she was?"

XXXXXXX

"There they are," Derek nodded to a back corner.

"Lucky number 11," Meredith replied, relieved to have finally found them"They look like they are having fun."

"They are," Derek smiled slightly, "But they won't stop until one of them is arrested or they pass out on a lawn."

"Just listen to me," Adrienne slurred slightly into her phone, "I have thought a lot about this. _A LOT_. You and me. There is a really sturdy looking pool table over there in the corner…" she paused to listen, meanwhile Addison buried her face in her arms, she was laughing hard and it was starting to hurt, "…You can even pretend I'm Addison. We are practically the same person. It would be an interesting social experiment. You could compare us. For 20 years I've been looking for proof that I'm better in bed then her…"

"Who is she talking too?" Derek asked Addison as he reached for Adrienne's phone.

"Mark!" Adrienne exclaimed into the phone, twisting away from Derek, "It really hurt my feelings when you displaced all your feelings for me onto Addison just because she was close and horny. How are we supposed to build a solid marriage of kinky sex and free plastic surgery if you keep believing that you are in love with my twin sister?"

"Mark," Derek grabbed the phone from her hand, "Sorry buddy. I'm going to take them home now," he grinned, "Unless you wanted me to drop Riena at your place," he chucked as he flipped the phone closed, Mark had unceremoniously hung up on him.

"Okay girls," Derek picked up Adrienne by her upper arm, "The Montgomery twins have done Seattle enough for one night."

"Dereeeeeek," Adrienne whined twisting away, "We have drinks comingggggg."

"Addison," he tried to reason.

"Derek," Addison said slowly, trying to sound as sober as possible, "We've only had 2 drinks. We are fine."

"Were those drinks in gallon buckets?" he asked, pulling harder on Adrienne's arm, "Let's go. I'm not letting you girls walk home."

"It's only 15 blooooocks," Addison whined, reluctantly standing and Adrienne even more reluctantly doing the same.

"The last time you two tried to walk home on your birthday you both ended up passed on the front lawn of the Hampton house," he reminded them, "We still don't know how you got to the Hampton's."

"It was our 30th," Addison explained to Meredith, "And we took a cab. And we were _resting_."

"They didn't have key's or cell phone's and only 2 shoe's between the 2 of them."

"That's a _lie_," Adrienne exclaimed, tripping over her own feet.

"I never lost my shoe's," Addison yawned, "I love my shoes."

"I know you do," Derek assured her, opening the car door.

"Derek?" Adrienne slid into the backseat behind the driver, "Do you know where this Karev kid lives? I intend to marry Mark tonight."

"I don't know," Derek started the car and shot an exasperated look at Meredith, "Ask Addison."

"_Karev is the intern with the bitable ass_?" Adrienne demanded in a high shrill voice.

"That's _not_ what I said."

"No, what you said was _a lot_ more graphic and vulgar and was not something I thought I would _ever_ hear you say."

"Stop trying to piss of Derek," Addison said wearily, turning to stare out the window.

"Meredith," Adrienne shifted her attention, "I don't want you to think that just because Addison is a horrible influence on me, that I'm not qualified to help you quash your demons."

Meredith turned back, "You should put on your seat belt."

Adrienne fell back against her seat and reached for the belt, "I like you," she declared, "I'm not just saying that because for professional reasons you should think that I like you. I really do like you. Derek, I like her."

"Thanks," Derek said dryly, giving Meredith a small smile.

"I told Addison to leave you be," Adrienne continued, she squinted at the passing lights, "I told her to fax the papers, signed, and move on. But _noooo_. _Addison_ is to good for divorce. _Addison_ has to try to make things worse. _Addison_ has to make things harder on everyone else so they are easier on her and she…"

"Adrienne," Derek glanced at Addison in the rearview mirror. She was asleep.

"Derek you guys had been heading for a divorce for 2 years. _She slept with Mark_. The lucky bitch. It was over. She just wanted to end it on her terms not you screaming at her on the street in the rain," Adrienne smirked, "Panties on a bulletin board and Mark naked in her hotel room… my sister is _classy_."

"_Adrienne_!" Derek exclaimed slamming on the brakes in front of Addison's condo, "You know _nothing_ about my marriage to your sister. Okay? Get out."

"God you are moody Derek," Adrienne muttered, opening her door and trying to get out as gracefully as possible when her world was literally spinning.

Derek crossed over to the other side of the car. Meredith stood there watching Addison sleepily dig through her purse. He gently pulled it out of her hands and handed it to Meredith, "The key is in her change purse."

The three started towards Adrienne, Addison teetering dangerous on her heels. Derek watched her apprehensively.

"I…" Addison stopped walking, "Need to sit down," she sank ungracefully to the grass.

"We'll be right behind you," Derek said softly to Meredith kneeling down beside Addison.

Meredith nodded, finding the key she let herself and Adrienne into the house.

"Ok?" he asked her.

Addison didn't move.

"Addison?" He rested a hand against her face and tried to look at her eyes.

Her whole body sagged.

"Ok," he reached around her and slipped her arm over his shoulders so he could lift her up, "Come on." He struggled through the door and up the stairs to the second floor, Addison completely passed out in his arms.

"She insisted on sleeping in here," Meredith explained as he entered the master bedroom.

He nodded, "They always sleep together," he eased her as gently as possible into bed, "For 15 years I was kicked out of bed every time she visited. They had separate rooms as kids but always shared a bed."

Meredith stared at him, "You never talk about her."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't. You were married to her forever and it's like it never happened."

"We should get them some water."

Meredith rolled her eyes and left the room heading in the direction of the kitchen.

Derek stood at the edge of the bed. Addison stirred slightly. He smiled, "Happy Birthday Adds," he whispered, lightly touching her cheek with two fingers.

She smiled, not quite awake and not opening her eyes, "Thank you Derek," she sighed, and sinking deeper into sleep, "I love you."

He watched her a moment longer.

"They are going to be _so_ hungover tomorrow," Meredith reentered the room, "I kinda want to get Adrienne up at 5 am to go jogging."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I will give a prize to the person that has the best suggestion for what they want to happen.

And another prize for whoever's review I like the best.

And I have awesome prizes.


	6. Rehab

You know. This might be the longest I have ever gone between updates.

That's pretty impressive.

Well not impressive from your perspetive.

Impressive from mine.

This chapter took me an unnatuarally amount of time to write.

Just saying.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Addison tapped her pen on the counter and stared off into space. She and Geoffrey were planning a barbacue, with the girls and Adrienne, and she was in charge of potatoe salad. She had no clue how to make potatoe salad.

She watched Meredith collapse in a nearby chair and gave her a friendly smile which was pointedly ignored. Addison stopped herself just short of rolling her eyes and continued to ponder her potatoe salad delimna.

Grabbing the yellow pages she flipped to the deli sections and looked for an advirtisment that looked like it might have what would pass as homemade salads. She didn't even glance up when Derek appeared and took a seat next to Meredith to fill out some paper work.

"Derek," the annoyance in Meredith's voice caused Addison to look up, "Stop it."

Derek frowned, "What?"

"Your foot," Meredith spat not even trying to keep her voice down.

Everyone in the vicinity immediately glanced at Derek's feet, his right foot innocently tapping away.

"Derek!" she exclaimed.

He continued to tap his foot.

Addison frowned. She could see him trying to still his foot, but it continued to tap persistantly.

"I _cannot_ believe you," Meredith exclaimed, pushing her chair back so fast it hit a filing cabnet a few feet away.

Addison stared wide-eyed as Meredith stormed away down the hall, then returned her gaze to Derek.

Derek remained in his chair staring at his foot. The tapping increased in speed for a moment, then quickly disappeared. He stared at his open palms for a moment then looked over to Addison.

Her brow furrowed anxiously.

Derek stared at her a moment longer then stood, "It's nothing," he said more to himself then her. He glanced at the few staff menbers that were nearby and obviously staring, "She's tired," he explained, "She's not sleeping. None of us are sleeping."

Addison stared down at the phone book.

But she was no longer thinking about potatoe salad.

XXXXX

"Do we have an innappropriate relationship?" Mark asked leaning forward on the bench.

"What?" Callie couldn't hear over the water running in her shower.

"Our relationship. Is it innappropriate?"

"Probably," Callie turned off the water, "Throw me my towel."

Mark threw her towel over the top of the glassed-in shower, "Shouldn't you care?"

"Probably," Callie stepped out of the shower, sucuring her towel around her, "But George started sleeping downstairs to be closer to Meredith and I haven't really missed him. At all."

They simply stood and watched each other for a long moment.

"Should I hug you?" Mark asked. Having female friends was not familiar territory for him.

Callie laughed shakily and turned away rubbing her hands over her faee. She sighed as she felt Mark's arms snake around her from behind and pulled her against his chest. She leaned back amd relaxed.

"I'm sorry."

Callie smiled weakly, "Ya know, I really liked that apartment."

XXXXX

Meredith pushed the jar as hard as she could against the counter. Using all the body weight she could muster she tried to use it to ancor ithe jar enough to twist the lid off.

The plastic just slid across the slick surface.

She tried hooking it in the crook of her elbow. But her soft sweater provided no resistance.

Derek entered the kitchen and paused. A small smile spread across his face as he watched her try to open the peanut butter. Her forehead was wrinkled in frustraition and her jaw set with determination.

She looked pretty damn cute just then.

She put the jar back on the counter and tried again. It wouldn't budge.

She let out a yelp of frustraition and slammed the jar repeatedly against the counter until the plastic cracked and the jar broke.

Derek burst out laughing.

Meredith stared at him.

The her full mug of tea hit him before he knew what was happening.

XXXXX

"Great sex. Unbearable company."

Callie sighed, "I like Cristina. I wanted you to marry her."

"You _would_ like her. She's like you but angry and hates me."

"I hate you."

"Sure. But mostly you love me."

"Who's next then?"

"Alphabetically? Izzie."

"Alphabetically? Seriously?"

"Addison. Callie. Cristina…"

"You skipped Bailey."

"Miranda," Mark shot back with a grin, "'M'. Right after Meredith."

"You are such a …"

Her sentence was cut off by the sound of glass breaking followed by shouting.

Within seconds they were at the door to the break room. Derek was trying ineffectively to ward off the blows that Meredith was throwing at his chest as she screamed at him.

"MEREDITH!" Derek tried to grab her wrist but she immediately wriggled from his grasped and hit him on the shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She yelled, hitting his chest with both fists.

"_Meredith!_" He tried to grab her in his arms but this just set her off and she started hurling insults at him.

"Holy…" Callie darted at Meredith grabbing her from behind and pinning her arms to her sides, "_Call Adrienne_," she ordered, dragging a struggling, and now crying, Meredith to the ground.

"Is that necessary?" Mark asked with a groan.

"Mark!"

Mark flipped open his phone and turned to look at Derek who was standing there blankly.

"I love afternoon booty calls," Adrienne answered, "Your place or mine?"

"We have a situation," Mark replied, "With Meredith."

"She snapped? I've been waiting for that."

"She freaked out at Derek, Callie is psychically restraining her."

"Sexy. Bet you are loving that."

"Addison got all the tact didn't she?"

Adrienne laughed, "I'll be right over. Think you can get her… _Holy mother…_" Suddenly she launched into a refrain of expletives the likes of which Mark had never heard, "Bikini wax." She explained panting slightly, "Addison recommended her. _Clearly_ my sister is a _masochist!_ Lord have mercy. Try to get her outside. I'll be there in 10."

True to her word Adrienne pulled up to the hospital side door nine minutes later. Meredith was a sobbing hysterical mess in Callie's arms and Derek was still standing there staring blankly.

Adrienne stepped out of the car and opened the door to the back seat, "Okay. Strap her in."

"What are you doing?" Mark asked suspiciously.

"I'm going to drive her around until she calms down." She watched Callie wrestle Meredith into the car.

"That's your plan?"

"It works on my girls."

"That woman has daughters?" Callie asked straightening up.

"3. One for each husband."

"Not true," Adrienne opened her car door again, "I annulled my marriage to Opal's daddy." She nodded to her former brother-in-law who stood motionless either crying or praying, or both, "You should do something about him."

"Opal?" Callie whispered as Adrienne slammed her door shut.

"Opal, Pearl and Ruby," Mark shook his head, "Addison threaten to sterilize her when she wanted to name one Amethyst."

XXXXX

Meredith woke up slowly.

Her head was pounding. Her throat was sore. Her eyes burned.

"Hey," Adrienne greeted softly from the front seat, "I got you some ice cream."

Meredith leaned forward and picked up the dish of ice cream from the center consol. It wasn't even melted.

"It's the third one I bought," Adrienne explained, "You slept along time."

Meredith swallowed hard trying to stop the tightening in her chest.

"You can cry more if you need to," Adrienne said gently, "I can keep driving. I've always wanted to see Canada."

Meredith laughed, gulping for air as she did so, "Canada would be good."

XXXXX

"She's not coming home."

Derek buried his head in his hands, "What?" he asked hoarsely.

"She's not coming home. She wants some time away. Alone."

"Where?"

Adrienne hesitated, "It's not rehab," she explained, "It's like a hotel with a 10:1 guest to therapist ratio. If she feels like talking there are people for her to talk to, if not she sleeps in, watches pay-per-view and gets her nails done. Whatever she wants."

"When."

"She checked in about 2 hours ago. I ate lunch with her," Adrienne paused, "She asked to stay a month."

"Why?" he felt numb.

"It's what she feels she needs Derek," she explained gently, "She's had it rough. But she recognizes that she can be self-destructive, she's always known, and she wants to do something about it."

"How?"

"Derek," Adrienne chucked, "Talk about this with her. She wants to call you tomorrow; I said that I'd pass on the message. Suggest going up to visit her for the weekend ok. I think she'd like that."

"Okay," Derek agreed weakly.

Okay," Adrienne laughed, "God. Stop mopping. This is a good thing."

Derek cleared his throat, "Thank you, Adrienne."

"It hurt you to say that didn't it?" she teased, "I've gotta jet. I promised Addy-cakes that I'd go to her suburban barbecue. Can you picture me at that? She asked me to buy a red and white-checkered tablecloth and I'll bet you a million dollars that the stud-muffin will be wearing a 'kiss-the-cook' apron. How revolting. We'll talk tomorrow 'kay Einstein?"

Derek flipped his phone closed and sank down on the closest bench.

"Derek?" Addison whispered softly slipping through the door.

Derek didn't look up.

She sat down next to him on the bench in the locker room but didn't look at him.

"Meredith checked herself into rehab for a month."

Addison shook her head in surprise, "Rehab?"

"Not rehab," Derek corrected, "A hotel with therapists," he stared straight ahead, "I don't know if she's stressed or pressured or… I've tried giving her space I've tried being there for her… I've tried… I've tried…"

"Derek…"

He stared down at his hands, opening and closing his finger, "And if…If I'm…sick. I can't take care of her…" he looked at Addison, his eyes wide with worry, "I don't know what to do Addy."

She watched him manipulate the muscles in his hands "You're fine Derek," Addison said, more strength in her voice then what she felt.

"You don't know that," he shook his head, "My dad…"

"Your dad," Addison repeated, twisting on her seat to face him, "Your Dad got sick Derek. It was different…"

"But in the beginning…"

"Derek. No," she said firmly

"My hands…"

"You're tired."

"My foot…"

"Stress. Derek…" Addison took a deep breath and leaned forward, "I booked the MRI and EKG for tomorrow. If you walk me through it, I can run the tests. But Derek, listen to me, you are _fine,_ I _know_ you are _fine_."

Derek buried his face in his hands.

Addison reached in the pocket of her labcoat and extracted vials and needles and held them silently in her lap. Derek was motionless for a full five minutes before turning to her and extending his arm for her to take his blood. He watched her eyes not her hands as she worked and he didn't feel a thing.

"There," she said softly as she smoothed a band-aid on to the crook of his arm with her thumbs.

"I miss you."

She didn't move, her hands still gently holding his arm, "It's all going to turn out okay. You and Meredith…"

"No. Not," he paused; "Just…" his words were slow and deliberate, "…sometimes. I miss you."

She inhaled sharply, "I miss you too," she glanced up at him, her own eyes watery, "Sometimes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Reviewing is good for your soul.

And you know how I worry about your souls.


	7. All I Need

Sorry these updates are taking so long. My life is spinning wildly out of control. I originally planned on posting this like… Tuesday. But I wasn't happy with it, and then I was out of town and then I felt it necessary to freeze my ass off at a country concert with my psycho sister. And by Psycho I mean that she is the inspiration for Adrienne, keeping in mind that Adrienne is older and a mother and my sister is 23 and unemployed and therefore has nothing worth being responsible for.

My point is, I am going to try to start the next chapter right away, when normally I take a few days break. I'm going out of town again on Wednesday… and moving on Friday… so I am just saying right now that things could get dicey. But if you guys pour in tons upon tons of reviews, not only will I be encouraged and inspired, but also I'll have an idea about what should be going into this chapter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"2 million," Addison leaned her cheek against her sisters shoulder, "I can't go any higher."

"Awww," Adrienne teased, "That's like your whole shoe budget."

"Well I like you more."

Adrienne stuck out her lower lip, "I have to go home."

"I really don't think you do."

"My girls have been with their dads for almost a month. I miss them."

"Have them shipped over for a visit."

"I like when you refer to my kids as cargo," she curled up closer to her sister and pulled up the blankets more, "But since you moved out of New York they don't love you anymore."

"Yes they do," Addison pouted.

"They don't," Adrienne shook her head; "I can't even remember the last time they threatened to runaway and live with you."

"Meanie. Maybe I want you to leave."

"No you don't."

Addison sighed, "No. I don't."

There was a long pause Adrienne watching Addison tapping her foot under the blankets, "Florida could always use a kickass-baby-guru-goddess."

"Okay. First of all," Addison laughed, "I happen to like Seattle, and hate Florida. Two words. Sun. Burn. And secondly, you have no idea what I do, do you?"

"I know that every time I get pregnant you hound me for 8 months. And whenever I tell the OB's who my sister is their jaws drop and they stutter for 10 minutes. But other then that I have no sweet clue what you do with your day. Aside from chasing boys. And 'sunburn' is one word, idiot."

"I don't chase them. They chase me. It's very different."

"They chase you because you lead them on. Which means that you want them to chase you, which actually means you're chasing them."

"I'm in a very loving and committed relationship."

"This is true. You and Derek are very committed to making each other think you love other people."

"We _do _love other people," Addison insisted.

Adrienne chuckled and crawled out of bed, "Of course you do Addy-cakes. Of course you do."

XXXXX

"Hey Buddy," Mark grabbed the carton of milk and took a long drink before replacing it in the fridge.

Derek didn't reply.

"I let myself in," Mark said into the silence, "Callie showed me were the key is. Under the mat is real original too. Robbers never think to look there."

Derek didn't even seem to notice his presence.

"What am I doing here?" Mark asked himself, "Well. I have the day off and I was thinking of luring one of the beautiful women of the household into bed."

Silence.

"So…How's Meredith?"

"Huh?" Derek looked up, He stared at Mark for a long time before registering that Mark was standing in his kichen, drinking his milk straight from the carton and asking about his girlfriend, "Meredith? She's okay. She called a few nights ago."

Mark watched him, "Are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going have to put you in a headlock?

"It's nothing."

Mark snapped his knuckles; "You know I have more upper body strength then your sisters right?"

"I almost dropped a scalpel yesterday," he blurted out, "I couldn't hold it."

"Okay," Mark sat down beside him. The dots slowly connected. "_Shit._ Any other symptoms?"

"Numb. And I tripped walking in the kitchen."

There was a long poignant silence "Probably stress," Mark declared.

"That's what Addison said."

"You told Addison?" Marked asked in surprise.

"I didn't have to. She just knew."

Mark smiled, "She's taking care of you? Running the tests?"

Derek nodded.

"She's always there isn't she? Whether you want her there or not."

XXXXX

"Can I ask you something?"

Izzie glanced up from her magazine. She thought she was the only person in the house, "When did you get here?"

"Few hours ago," Mark said easily, "I'm waiting for Callie and I like this place better then mine."

"Callie isn't off until 6. It's not even noon."

"Which is why I'm talking to you," Mark replied. "Can I ask you a question?"

Izzie rolled her eyes and gave him an exasperated yet amused look, "Sure."

"It's a two-parter." Mark crossed his arms seriously, "First of all, are you dating yet? And secondly, will your friendship with George and my friendship with Callie make things awkward for you when the afore mentioned dating occurs?"

Izzie went back to her magazine, "I'm not dating you."

"So you aren't dating yet?" 

"I'm not dating you."

"Why not?"

"I would rather become a crazy cat lady."

"Hey, I like cats."

Izzie smiled in spite of herself, "You are only asking me out cause I'm a model."

"You model?" Mark asked genuinely surprised.

Izzie flipped to the back of her magazine and turned it around so he could see the layout.

Mark raised an eyebrow, "You're a lingerie model? And a surgeon?" he paused, "Will you marry me?"

XXXXX

Addison leaned forward in her chair and tilted her face to the side.

"What are you doing in here?"

She looked up, "Watching Derek's surgery."

Callie looked around the empty gallery, "Alone?"

"It's routine. I just needed something to do." Derek glanced up and met her eye. She smiled at him, and he went back to his surgery.

"Adrienne gone?"

"She left this morning."

"She's… interesting."

Addison smiled never taking her eyes off Derek, "Unconventional. But it seems to work. I can't even get an appointment with her."

"She was good for Meredith. She might turn out to be halfway human."

Derek looked back up at Addison. Addison stood and moved a little closer to the window.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine," Addison turned to her and grinned, "I have some patients to check on, but do you want to meet for lunch in an hour?"

Callie nodded, "Perfect. I have to pick up some x-rays anyway."

"Great," Addison turned back to the window.

Callie turned at the door, looking back at her friend. Addison's fingertips were pressed lightly against the glass, and Derek was staring straight into her eyes, oblivious to their surroundings.

Callie hastily left the room. She felt as if she was intruding.

XXXXX

"Okay," Callie stormed into the house and stopped in front of Mark who was reclining on her couch, "I hope you're over Addison, because I am _killing _her."

"I hope you aren't moving," Mark didn't take his eyes from the TV, "I have finally found the perfect spot where there is no glare on the screen."

"I'm not moving. Except maybe to prison. For killing your ex-lover."

"Can I move in if you end up in the big house?"

"Sure," Callie sat down at the other end. "By the way, the former Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd are having McEx-Sex."

"Since when?"

"I don't know. Since always probably."

"No, they're not."

"Well they are McSomething. They were doing some sort of optical mating dance during his surgery today."

"Addison's testing him for ALS," Mark said simply.

Callie was silent for a moment, "Okay_, What?!?!"_

"Derek's dad died of Lou Gehrigs when we were 9, he started getting sick when we started school. He was the same age as Derek is now. And Derek is presenting symptoms."

"Oh," Callie murmured, ashamed of herself.

"With everything going on with Meredith there is a good chance that it's just stress. Addison's probably doing her best to reassure him, but he's off his game. He needs someone right now and Meredith is off replacing pills with manicures."

"Sorry."

Mark smiled, "You didn't know. Any reasonable person would think they were sleeping together."

"No. I should have known she wouldn't try that again."

Mark turned to her a surprised smile on his face, "Again?"

Callie raised an eyebrow, "Why do you think that it took Derek so long to get to hospital the night of Meredith's accident?"

Mark chuckled, "What are we going to do with them?"

"Shock collars." Callie said seriously, "Cured my mothers poodle of humping the ficus."

XXXXX

"Hey guess what," Addison slipped into the living room and crawled onto the couch where Geoffrey was laying reading, "Daisy's asleep," she kissed his neck and settled her body on top of his, "And the house is empty."

He chuckled, "Did you have something in mind?"

"Mmm hmmm," she murmured, her lips moving over to his adams apple and her fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt.

"What about Ali?"

"What about her," Addison's mouth never left his skin and her nails dragged patterns on his stomach.

"I have to pick her up at the movies in 10 minutes."

Addison sat up abruptly, "Seriously?"

"Mmm hmmm," He pulled her back down and kissed her, rolling on his side he trapped her between the back of the couch and his chest.

"How do you feel about being a few minutes late?"

He kissed the tip of her nose, "It's getting dark out." he got up slowly, "I'll be back in half an hour."

"Okay," Addison stretched out on the couch and picked up the book that had fallen to the floor, "But I can't promise I'll still be awake."

"But I _can_ promise I'll wake you back up."

It was less then twenty minutes later, Addison had just finished brushing her teeth, when she heard the front door open and slam, then open and slam again.

"ALLISON _LOUISE __**VICE**_!"

"_I hate you!_"

"Allison!"

Addison stepped out into the hallway just as Ali stormed by, "What happened?"

"He _ruined my life!_" She yelled as she slammed her door shut.

"What happened?" she repeated, as Geoff appeared at the top of the stairs, a bit red in the face.

"She lied about the movie. She was with a boy."

"It was a group thing," Addison explained, "I saw them when I dropped her off."

"She was _kissing_ a _boy_. An _older_ boy."

Addison stared at him, "Please tell me that you didn't embarrass her in front of her boyfriend."

"She was _KISSING_ him. A very _ADULT_ kind of kissing."

"Geoff, she's a teenager. And Simon is a good kid..."

"Simon? You know his _name?_" Geoffrey grabbed her arm and pulled her into the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

Addison took a step back, but squared her shoulders. "I drove him home from the end of the year dance. He's a nice boy. Polite."

"_He's polite!? He was manhandling my daughter."_

"Like you didn't try the same thing when you were in high school."

Geoffrey stared at her, "_High school?! He's in HIGH SCHOOL! My daughter was KISSING a high school boy and you knew and didn't tell me!"_

"I just knew they liked each other. And if she wanted you to know she would have _told you herself_!"

"_She shouldn't be dating at all and you are letting her run around with boys that can drive!"_

"He can't drive," Addison rolled her eyes.

"She looks up to you Addison and you are _turning her into_…"

"Turning her into _what?_" Addison demanded, her hands on hips, "And be _very_ careful about how you answer."

His jaw tensed, "She looks up to you. She needs a role model, and with her mother gone, that's you. Like it or not you are the mother-figure in these girls life and you _can't just be their friend. You have to think about the consequences._"

"I did _not_ sign up to be a _mother_," Addison's eyes flashed. "I'm your _girlfriend_."

"And I am a _father_," he took a step closer to her, "And if you want to be a part of my life you need to accept the role that you are going to have in theirs."

Addison turned away from him and reached for the doorknob, "Well as her _mother_-figure, I'm going to try and _fix what you, her FATHER, have done to her DATE. Because it seems that you as a FATHER have no idea what these things mean to a GIRL, because you are to WORRIED about things that you WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IF YOU TRIED TALKING TO HER AS A FRIEND and not a CHILD"_

"SHE IS A CHILD."

"_No, she is a TEENAGER! She is GROWING UP. Kissing boys and NOT TELLING HER FATHER is a part of that." _

"_I'm DOING MY BEST ADDISON. BUT IT'S NOT HELPING IF YOU ARE ENCOURAGING MY DAUGHTER TO RUN AROUND WITH BOYS OLDER AND MORE EXPERIENCED THEN HER. I NEED YOU TO THINK…"_

"_I didn't encourage her to do anything. But if they like each other why shouldn't they go to the MOVIES."_

"Of _anyone_, _you_ should know how quickly things can escalate."

Addison closed her eyes. Hurt evident on her face.

"I didn't mean it like that."

Addison held up her hand and shook her head, "No. I think you did."

He took a step towards her, "No. I'm sorry. Addison, I really didn't…"

"I'm going to go talk to your daughter," she said softly, "And if you just ruined her first kiss, you DESERVE to have her hate you."

Addison left the room, shutting the door firmly behind her. Crossing the hall she knocked lightly, "Ali? Can I come in?" Not getting a response she pushed the door open.

Ali lay upside down on the bed. Her face buried in her pillow. "Go away."

Addison stepped back, "Okay."

"I'm I grounded?"

Addison sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Do I have to break up with him?"

"I don't' know. I hope not, " Addison replied, "But, I guess that is up to your dad."

"I hate him."

"That seems reasonable."

Ali choked out a laugh into her pillow and rolled over on to her back, her eyes were swollen and her face red and blotchy from crying "Did you have a boyfriend when you were 13?"

"No," Addison admitted, "I wasn't pretty and confident like you are."

Ali shrugged off the complement, "Simon is only 15 months older then me. Dad is like 8 years older then you."

Addison laughed, in truth she was 6 months older then Geoffrey "Well the rules change when you get old like us."

Ali rolled her eyes.

"Plus when you are old and decrepit like me, you can kiss as many boys as you want and your dad can't say a thing."

Ali sniffed, "I don't want to kiss other boys. I just want to kiss him"

Addison smiled, "Then you are very, very lucky."

XXXXX

"Montgomery."

"Addison?"

"Derek?" She rubbed her forehead. She had woken up with a splitting headache, made worse by the fact that Daisy was the only person in the house currently talking to everyone.

There was long silence on the other end of the phone.

"Can you…" Derek struggled with the words, "… meet me somewhere?"

"I put the test results in your locker…"

"Did you look at them?"

"No…"

"Please…"

"Derek it's early. I haven't even found the coffee yet."

"Please meet me," he asked again, desperation creeping into his voice, "I'm in the prep room on 3rd. The one with the broken light board. Please, Addison."

Addison hesitated, "Of course. I'll be right there." Moments later she slipped through the door to see Derek pacing at the other end of the room, "What's wrong?" she asked immediately.

He held out an envelope, "I can't do it."

She shook her head, "No. Derek. I'm not…"

"Please," he took her hand and forced the papers into it, "I need you to…"

"I shouldn't…" she protested.

He turned away from her, his hands pressed hard against his temples. It was too much. He couldn't take anymore of this. He didn't even feel like himself. It was as if all this was happening to someone else, and he had to live with the fallout. He felt lost, and confused, and …

"Derek," Addison said softly, after a lengthy silence. "You're fine."

He turned and saw her holding the test results.

"High blood pressure is your biggest problem," she smiled, and moved towards him, sliding the test results into his hands, "You're okay."

He nodded blankly, his eyes becoming wet and his chest constricting, "Thank you, Ad…" he said hoarsely, "…Addison…" he looked up and stared at her eyes, glassy and full of tears.

They stared at each other.

The kiss was soft and slow. Their lips barely brushed against each other. It wasn't until she inhaled sharply, drawing him in, that their lips met with any purpose.

"Shepherd."

Derek leaned away from Addison, but didn't step away, "Chief," he replied in a raspy voice, staring at Addison's chin as she turned her face away from him, her arms crossing tightly across her chest.

"I need to talk to you about a possible transfer."

"I'll be there in a minute."

Richard Webber stared at Derek over Addison's shoulder. Derek had yet to make eye contact with him and Addison hadn't even turned to face him. He took a step into the room, "Is everything alright?"

"We're fine," Derek said softly, "I'll be there in a minute.

The door shut gently leaving them alone in the silence.

"Addison…"

"Derek. Don't. Please…"

Her voice was full of emotion and she was staring at the ceiling desperately trying to keep her tears contained.

So he kissed her.

Again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You know.

I really don't know where I am going with this.

Maybe Addison should just forget about Geoffrey and Derek and start sleeping with Alex again. They were reasonably happy together.

And I'm not sure what Mark is doing cause Callie is more or less single now and he is going after Izzie. And I'm not sure why, and I'm not sure why that even made it's way into this fic, maybe it will turn out to be important.

Or not.

And I'm really not sure why Addison and Derek are kissing. Other then they are screwed up in the head and make really bad decisions ALL THE TIME.

Maybe their mothers dropped them on their heads when they were babies.

Review and tell me your own theories.


	8. All At Once

Meredith paced the floor, pausing only to stare at herself in the mirror. On a whim that morning she had dyed her hair a deep chestnut brown and had it permed so it fell into loose messy curly. She liked it. But it took some getting used too.

She crossed the floor again and stepped out on to her small balcony. Her room over looked the salt-water pool and she felt a sudden urge to go for one last swim. Instead she curled into the deck chair, waving to a friend who was tanning by the pool, and picked up her phone.

"Shepherd."

"Hey."

"Hi."

She thought she could hear his smile through the phone. "Still coming to get me?"

"I'd like to see someone try to stop me. I've refused 3 surgeries already."

Meredith laughed, "See. Now that is love."

"It's necessary. I miss you. How was your hair appointment?"

"Great. You may not recognize me," Meredith flirted, "I'm like a whole new person," she glanced down at her nails which for the last 3 weeks she had kept perfectly manicured in a shimmering sandy colour.

Derek was silent a moment, "Are you sure you're ready? If you want more time…"

"I'm ready to come home," she interrupted, "I miss you."

"Mer, don't come home because of me."

'I'm not," she insisted, "But I'm kinda starting to feel like I'm hiding. I need to know if I can go back to my life."

"Of course you can go back…"

"I just…" she paused pensively, "I feel different now. I'm different. I'm more… me."

"Luckily I love '_you'_."

"But what if the 'me' you love isn't the same as the 'me' that I am now?" Meredith could sense that he was taken aback by what she had said. She was surprised herself; she never voiced things like that to him before.

"Not possible," he assured her, "I love all the '_you'_'s."

Meredith laughed merrily, "This conversation is sounding ridiculous..."

Derek chuckled his agreement, "Go get some lunch. I'll be there before you know it."

"Okay," Meredith agreed happily, "I'll call you after I eat."

XXXXX

Addison dropped her things on the nearest counter. She was a firm believer that Dr's should have caddies, like in golf.

"Hey."

She turned, "Hi," she said softly.

Derek moved closer and lined up her files neatly, "Need help?"

"No. I've got it."

They watched each other for a long moment.

Finally Addison looked away, "Meredith is coming home today?"

He nodded, the moment between them broken, "I'm driving up to get her this afternoon."

"You'll be glad to have her back."

Derek was silent, "Yeah I will."

Addison tapped her finger anxiously against the counter, "Derek," she said suddenly, "I…"

_Ring Ring Ring_

Derek glanced at his caller ID then looked guiltily at Addison. "It's Meredith…"

Addison nodded.

"She calls a lot," he explained.

Addison gathered her things. "Tell her I said hi."

XXXXX

"Mark," Izzie laughed, "Absolutely not/"

"Come on."

"No!"

"It's funny."

"No," she laughed, "It's tacky."

"Hey," Addison walked up to them, a smile on her face, "What's going on?"

Izzie slowly stopped laughing but didn't reply.

Mark grinned and crossed his arms over his chest, "I've decided that Izzie is not allowed to name our children."

"Hey!" Izzie started to laugh all over again, "I pick good names. And who in their right mind would have your baby"

"What are you trying to name?" Addison asked softly.

"I will have you know," Mark continued, not hearing Addison, "That many women would kill to have my children. You are clearly a defective member of your species."

"Well now I am definitely not going out with you."

"Then I guess you are stuck here. I'm driving you home remember."

"Jerk!"

"Tease."

Izzie narrowed her eyes.

Mark looked at his watch pointedly, "I'm leaving in 20 minutes."

"I'm going. I'm going!" Izzie protested, "But I'm still not talking to you."

"Good," Mark called after her, "I could use some peace."

"So you are in love with Izzie Steeven's this week?" Addison asked.

"No," Mark cracked his knuckles, "We are just working on a little project."

"Personal or medical?"

"Personal. Jealous?"

"You wish."

Mark winked at her and backed away, "You bet I do."

XXXXX

Derek stepped out of the car and blinked into the sun. This was the first time that he had ever been here; Meredith had never wanted him to visit. He looked around. He hadn't seen Meredith in a month.

"_Derek_!"

And then she was there.

He barely had time to register that it was her before she had flown into his arms and was tightly hugging him, her legs wrapped around his waist. He hugged her back just as tight, unwilling to let her go.

She pulled back kissing him full on the lips before sliding out of his arms.

He stared at her. She wasn't the same person. She had lost the frailness in her limbs and now seemed strong and vibrant; and she no longer moved awkwardly, but confidently. Her skin was tanned and glowing, her hair was full and shiny and her eyes sparkled.

"Meredith," he said slowly, "You look gorgeous."

She grinned, "New clothes. I didn't really bring much with me," she joked, "wait here. I'll get my bag and we can go home."

He watched her move across the stone pathway and pick up a bag and sling it over her shoulder. He had never before appreciated how long her legs were or how great she look in those little tailored blouses and fitted Bermuda shorts with flats.

She grinned at him, "_You,_ are staring at me," she teased.

He smiled back and moved to open her door for her, "Just thinking how lucky I am to have you."

XXXXX

"I missed this house," Meredith sighed happily as they walked across the font porch hand in hand.

"It missed you too," Derek assured her," I'll take your bag upstairs," he offered, dropping her hand.

"No," she grabbed his hand again, "Stay out here with me." She sat down on the porch swing and pulled him down with her. She slid over into his lap and curled her head under his chin, "You missed me right?"

Derek laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist, "Just a little."

She chuckled and melted against his chest, the rocking of the porch swing and the warm summer sun lulling her to sleep.

"Do you think she's okay?"

A loud whisper slowly dragged Derek from his nap. He blinked twice. George, Cristina. Izzie and Mark stared down at them.

"What's wrong with her?" Izzie whispered loudly.

"Nothing," Derek frowned sleepily. He untangled his fingers from Meredith's hands and brushed a few of her new curls out of her face. He kissed her forehead, "Mer. Wake up, honey."

Meredith's eyes drifted open and she immediately grinned, "Hey!" She jumped up and immediately embraced her friends, her leg still resting across Derek's lap. Derek smiled at her happy chattering with her friends and the comments about her hair and how good she looked.

"Hey," Mark spoke from the back of the group, "Don't I get a hug?"

Meredith laughed, then squealed, "Oh! Guys! I can't believe you… awww."

Derek strained to see, but within moments Meredith was back in his lap, a kitten cuddled in her arms.

"She's from Izzie," Mark explained, "I was just the lucky one that got to be scratched to…"

"Mark!" Izzie exclaimed, hitting him hard on the chest.

"What's her name?" Meredith asked, totally entranced by the calico kitten who desperately wanted to claw at Derek.

"It's up to you," Izzie said, glaring at Mark, "She's your cat."

"I wanted to name her Percocet," Mark stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked around at the eyes now glaring at him, "Get it. 'Purrrr'-cocet??"

Meredith immediately started to laugh, "I love it."

Everyone exchanged glances and laughed hesitantly.

Mark sat down on the porch swing opposite Meredith and Derek. He winked at Meredith, "I knew you'd see the humour in that."

She winked back at him, rather boldly Derek thought, and leaned closer to Mark with a conspiring smile on her face, "It must be an ex-dirty-mistress thing.

XXXXX

Derek never thought himself to be the kind of man that dwelled on things. He liked to think that he accepted and moved on.

But lately he was dwelling.

He wasn't sure what he was dwelling on precisely. He was actually very happy. But still he was dwelling.

He stared long and hard at the water, then he turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the waterfront.

It was three weeks to the day since Meredith had come home. Three weeks where he had come to realize that Meredith was an incredible human being. She was more thoughtful then he realized, and gave things more consideration then he assumed she was. She talked to him more, asked him questions and really listened when he gave the answers. He thought that she was content just knowing the 'Derek' that he was now, but that didn't seem to be enough for her now. She wanted to know everything.

And she was telling him things too. He didn't know that when she was 4 her Dad had given her a doll that she still had packed in a box in the attic, or a tea set from when she was 8 that she still had all the pieces to, unbroken. He now knew that she had actually started out in medicine just to piss off her mother and intended to complete her first year of medical school at the top of her class and then quit to bartend in her boyfriend's nightclub.

It had been three weeks of waking up in the morning and seeing just how much they needed each other.

Then why was he dwelling?

It had been 3 weeks and 4 days since the day he had kissed Addison in the prep room. He had been feeling low. No depressed, just as if the universe was repeatedly knocking the wind from his lungs. He was convinced that he was sick. That his body was slowly going to wither away. That he was going to be a burden on everyone that he loved. He worried what his sickness would do to Meredith. And he dreaded dying. Leaving the people that he loved.

He'd been clinging to Addison. He didn't know why. Maybe because she was letting him. Because he needed someone else to carry some of the burden and she was the only one that volunteered. Because she wanted to help, and he wanted something familiar and comforting.

Three weeks and four days since he had kissed her when he knew that he shouldn't and that she didn't want him to. His palm had cupped her cheek and he hadn't pulled away until he felt a tear run down the length of his thumb and he realized that she was crying. Her hands where resting on his chest, pushing him away but neither of them moved.

He was dwelling because when she whispered _'I can't'_ over and over, he didn't know if she was talking to him or herself. He was dwelling because he wanted to know.

But for two weeks and three days he had been driving past her house every night, usually twice. Most of the time she wasn't there.

After two weeks and three days of driving past her house, he knocked. Only once, softly, knowing that it would be better for both of them if she didn't answer. But she did.

The night air was motionless, the perfect combination or warm and cool where you can't feel it at all and without even the smallest breeze. It was just them, standing on either side of her threshold not knowing what to say. Their eyes locked together, waiting for some sort of sign, some inspiration of what they were suppose to do. Wondering if she saw as much apprehension in his eyes as he saw in hers; or if he saw the longing in her eyes that she saw in his.

He smoothed his hand over her jaw, his thumb dragging across her lips until they parted slightly. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and pacing her hand on top of his to keep him close.

He bowed his head and closed his eyes at the feeling of his hand between her palm and her skin. Her fingers curled around his and she brought their hands away from her face and down to their sides until their fingertips barely touched. He opened his eyes and stared at their hands, the pads of their fingers resting against each other midair.

He took a step away, reluctantly pulling away from her touch. When he looked into her eyes she was already searching his. Curiosity, desire, fear. Her eyes begged him not to hurt her again. He swallowed hard his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he stared into her eyes, "I want more."


End file.
